Rainsford Qualley knows stardom by heart. Reminiscent of a Renaissance artist, she has tried it all: from performing to singing, from modelling to starring in her first film, Mighty Fine (2012), opposite her mother, the legendary Andie MacDowell. But, she has never been eager to be truly defined by her artistic family (her sister, Margaret, is also an acclaimed actress). For the sake of her music act, Rainsford has dropped her surname. When we listen to her songs, it is only “Rainsford” who invites us to enter her microcosm, full of nostalgia, inner sadness and understanding how to live again, when your entire world just crumbles around you.
Her debut LP album, ‘Before Blue’, evokes difficult memories from her past (“I wrote most of the songs in the throes of a year-long breakup, feeling completely empty, not in a healthy form of myself.”) There’s a sense of the artist’s confidence that shrouds this album, as Rainsford is never scared to discuss her innermost feelings. As she admits, “I am probably overly honest in my songwriting.” Thematically echoing Joni Mitchell’s Blue, Rainsford’s record is a testament to a woman who had to be reborn, just like a Phoenix, to reclaim her own voice.
While speaking to Schön!, Rainsford reflects on ‘Before Blue’, motherhood (“It’s pure magic”), and the impulses behind her suggestive lyricism.
Rainsford, you have been in the entertainment industry for over ten years. Your first EP was out in 2015. For ‘Before Blue’, your debut album, we had to wait another ten. It’s been a long road, full of music, film and television. How has Rainford changed over the years?
I feel like I have really come into my own as an artist, and I’m so proud of this album. When I first started releasing music, I assumed everyone knew better, and I should listen to those with more experience and follow their lead. I’ve been doing that to the point where I found myself embarrassed by the songs and really unfulfilled creatively. Since then, I’ve learned to trust myself, be unafraid to ask for what I want, and I’ve found people that I feel inspired by and aligned with, sonically.
And, how has motherhood affected your lyrics and art in general? Recently, you welcomed your first child.
I haven’t had much time to write new music since my daughter was born, besides improvised nursery rhymes and singing her to sleep. I have shot a few movies with her in the world. I’m so lucky to have an incredibly involved partner to take care of her while I’ve been on set. I look forward to getting back in the studio, though.
Do you have a favourite moment as a mother?
Making her laugh is ecstasy. It’s pure magic, every time.
And, do you feel like a different person? Or you’re still the same Rainsford, only now with a new human being by your side?
I still feel like myself, only with no free time! I’ve never been away from her for more than an hour or two, either on set or to go to the gym. She’s 10 months old, and we’re still breastfeeding, which is quite time-consuming, and also such a blessing at the same time. Recently, I’ve realised the value of every minute in the day. Honestly, each one goes by so fast! And, I have so much more joy in my life because of her.
‘Before Blue’ is your truly independent act and also a debut album. Why did we have to wait so long for your first LP?
I have had the intention of releasing a full album for ages, and I just didn’t feel that the music was ready until now. I have mountains of unreleased songs. In some of them, I wouldn’t love an element of the production, but I didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings by asking to make a change. However, I’ve learned to speak up for the benefit of the song! All the songs on this record have had different ideations, and we worked them out just right to get to where they are now. I’m so thrilled with the result!
How honest are you on your debut album? Is there some fiction in it, or maybe the entire record is just one huge diary entry?
I am probably overly honest in my songwriting. Actually, when I’m going through something, and I write about it, I’ll send the song to the person who inspired it after the session.
It requires something more than boldness!
I act like a total psycho!
And, how collaborative is this record? Who do you owe the achieved sound? It’s an eclectic album, full of various genres and themes. I guess it wasn’t that easy to put it all together and make it work.
The songs were composed over a span of a few years. Most of them were written with Michael Kamerman and Doug Schadt, both of whom are incredibly talented producers, and I’m so grateful to them.
It’s also an album about the sorrowful past, performed from a new perspective, which perhaps has enabled you to look at some situations from a healthier viewpoint. Is that right?
Not exactly, as I wrote most of the songs in the throes of a year-long breakup, feeling completely empty, not in a healthy form of myself. Some of the tracks were written on the dawn of finding myself again. And then, of course, the final track, Baby Girl, is the start of a new beginning.
On the brutally frank composition, Salt, which is about your previous relationship, you admit that you “forgive almost everything.” Does it mean that this little part of Rainsford still suffers from the inside?
Not anymore, which is why I titled the album ‘Before Blue’. All these songs felt so viscerally important when I was writing them. Now, I have empathy for myself then, but none of it matters to me anymore.
A quite strong statement.
But, I still loved the music, and I wanted to share the songs. Yet, everything I was going through feels distant to me now. I’m so happy, in a loving relationship, with my perfect baby. As you can see, all that pain was “before blue”.
While I was listening to ‘Before Blue’ earlier this week, I was thinking of a certain quote. “We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything.”
Well, I can certainly relate.
It’s the father’s monologue from ‘Call Me By Your Name’. You might find it silly, but I believe it somewhat corresponds with some of the themes from your debut album.
I didn’t recognise it at first: I haven’t seen that movie since it first came out. I did just shoot a movie with Armie Hammer, though, so I should revisit it!
Do you believe that there are specific situations from which we can’t really move on? That they stay with us no matter what happens next.
Unresolved childhood trauma, probably, but that’s what therapy is for! I do think certain experiences shape us and change who we become.
And, what about the album’s cover? It’s simultaneously evocative and evasive, if that makes sense. What’s the story behind this picture? Is it a symbol of finding a light at the end of the tunnel?
Yes, exactly! It represents bringing light into the darkness. We used St. Lucia’s crown as a symbol of hope for the future, which I didn’t know I had when writing most of these songs.
When did you feel that you were entering this new era in your life? That you were finally ready to embrace your past and sing about it on ‘Before Blue’?
Well, the songs weren’t written retrospectively; they were written in the moment. I continued to write as my life changed, and this album is a collection of experiences from the last few years. Today, I feel happier and more fulfilled than ever before. I’m truly excited to explore how all of that, from my new relationship and becoming a mother, will resonate in my future music.
Before Blue is out now.
photography. Dana Boulos
interview. Jan Tracz
