
opposite
corset. OLIVER HAUS
shorts. MILO MARIA
shoes. NOMASEI
tights. HEIST
In ‘Flesh’, Charli Howard writes with a disarming level of honesty about the realities of growing up in a world that constantly scrutinises, sexualises, and defines women through their bodies. Moving between memoir and cultural reflection, the book captures how moments of scrutiny, sexualisation, and shame quietly accumulate — settling into the body, informing not just how it is seen, but how it is felt from within.
Howard writes candidly about the early awareness of being looked at, measured, and compared; about the blurred lines between attention and objectification; and about the ways these experiences can manifest in everything from disordered eating to the pursuit of validation in relationships. In ‘Flesh’, the body becomes both subject and site; something acted upon, but also something that holds memory, tension, and, ultimately, the possibility of understanding.
There is a wider resonance to her story. In interrogating her own experiences, Howard taps into something collective: the quiet normalisation of the male gaze, the persistence of beauty standards that promise safety but rarely deliver it, and the ways women are taught — subtly and overtly — to locate their worth in how they are perceived. And yet, threaded through the book is a shift: a movement away from self-surveillance and towards something more expansive, where the body is no longer solely defined by its visibility to others.
Schön! speaks to Howard about the impulse to write ‘Flesh’, the emotional process of revisiting difficult experiences, and what it means to come back to yourself after years of feeling observed, shaped, and, at times, erased.

jacket. REVERIE
opposite
corset. A-JANE
dress. Self-Portrait @ Designer Exchange
shoes. NOMASEI
tights. HEIST
What was the turning point where you realised these experiences needed to become a book like ‘Flesh’, rather than something you kept private?
I think a lot of my want or desire to share came from seeing other women speaking so publicly about their experiences of sexual assault and misogyny. A lot of it was inspired by Gisele Pelicot and her now famous line that “shame must change sides”. So many friends of mine have experienced the same thing, so I thought: Why don’t we talk about this? Why do we carry this shame in our bodies as though we’ve brought it on ourselves, and what effect is that having on us as people?
When you first sat down to write ‘Flesh’, did you have a clear idea of what the book would be, or were you discovering the story as you went?
I first started putting my thoughts to paper a couple of years ago during therapy, long before the book was even picked up by the publisher. At the time, I was trying to work out my feelings and just write the rawest things I could on the page. I think the publisher was interested because so many women have been through similar things, and not only that, but we are starting to talk about abuse more openly, so it was very timely.
What made you feel ready, both personally and creatively, to start writing ‘Flesh’ when you did?
I was seeing a psychiatrist for severe depression and once we started talking, it was actually the doctor who prescribed me with C-PTSD (Complex PTSD) from my experiences with men. He explained that micro-aggressions and abuse over time, no matter how small or trivial it may feel to us in the moment, can impact us hugely over time. We no longer view PTSD in the ways we did previously. And so it got me thinking — how many other women are walking blindly through life, seeing assaults against us and our bodies as normal, not knowing the impact it’s having on them mentally, emotionally and psychologically over time?

dress. Susan Fang
bra. ERES
opposite
silk shorts. LISA
Were there moments when writing felt like reliving your trauma? How did you protect yourself emotionally during the process?
It certainly wasn’t an easy thing to write. But once my thoughts were on paper, and after I’d arranged my thoughts and feelings out like a giant puzzle, it felt incredibly liberating and freeing for me emotionally — as though I’d closed painful chapters in my life and could put it all to bed. It taught me that in order to move on from something painful or traumatic, you must sit with your feelings completely. That can be incredibly difficult, and is most likely why I put off talking about my experiences with anyone for so long, but once I broke through the other side, it felt incredibly freeing.
You describe being acutely aware of your body from a young age. How did writing about those early experiences help you understand them?
I have written a previous book about my experience with eating disorders and low body image, but I think I always pushed aside the reasonings behind why I got them and why I chose to abuse my body in so many ways. Through both therapy and writing, I finally managed to bridge the connection between the abuse and my mental health. I forever treated myself as though I was a “bad” person who deserved bad things to happen to her. Now that I’m healing, I know that none of this was my fault whatsoever. It definitely made me think to other women I know or have met over the years who have abused and tormented themselves, and it makes me wonder if they’ve experienced similar things. There is a huge link between sexual abuse and assault and a disordered body image, and writing this really helped understand just how much it had impacted my own life.
The book explores the link between flesh, femininity, and sexualisation. How did you translate such complex feelings into narrative form?
I think it was my agent who had the idea of breaking the chapters into names of body parts, and from that, I was able to explore how my body — as well as women’s bodies in general — have experienced misogyny and sexual abuse throughout history and time. For example, in the “Stomach” chapter, I talk a lot about fat phobia and its origins. In “Thighs”, I talk about the rise of cosmetic surgery like BBL’s, and who we’re truly commodifying our bodies for — even risking our lives for. You start to see how so many of our beauty standards are rooted in the need to appear desirable to men.

jacket. REVERIE
leggings. Samanta Virginio
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headpiece. Susan Fang
You write about the cumulative effect of micro-aggressions and everyday sexualisation. How did you approach conveying that slow, cumulative impact on your self-image?
I write about how therapy ultimately helped bridge the gap between my body and my experiences with sexual assault and abuse over time. Once you take a step back and really sit with your thoughts, you start to wonder — how could these incidents not have a profound impact on my life and wellbeing? When you start to see how each of our body parts has its own specific expectations when it comes to beauty and impossible beauty standards, you see how the system sets women up for failure, keeping them in a loop of worthlessness, while men ultimately get to strive.
You recount experiences of being sexualised from childhood through adulthood. How did revisiting these moments affect you emotionally, and what challenges did you face in telling them?
I am very honest in the book, more honest than I’ve ever been, and there were times where I questioned whether I was oversharing. But I think it takes women, like myself, to kickstart these conversations and to say enough is enough. We deserve more. I’ve already received so many messages from women saying they feel “seen”, and that, for me, is what was so important.
Did writing these experiences change the way you view your past, particularly moments you didn’t recognize as harmful at the time?
Absolutely! I started to cut myself some slack and realise that a lot of the things I’ve been through were never my doing or problem — rather, the way I treated myself was a reaction to the abuse I’ve had from men. I realised it wasn’t my job to appease men or to appear more attractive towards them. I only have one life and it is my job to live it fully.

top. Gucci @ Designer Exchange
earrings. JENNIFER FISHER
opposite
dress. Susan Fang
bra. ERES
How did you decide what to include and what to leave out, balancing honesty with emotional safety for both yourself and readers?
There are definitely stories that I’ve left out or deleted, just because I am still processing them myself, and because they are still painful. I understand that not all traumas need to be shared and it would leave me feeling really exposed and vulnerable. Even the stories I shared in the book felt a bit like an overshare at times and required me to be more open than I’ve ever been! I’m also conscious of people I know reading the stories and while I might share them in time, now is not the time.
You recently shared a story of financial and emotional abuse in a past relationship. You explore how a desire for love can override instinct. Women can tend to feel embarrassed or ashamed that they “fell” for these types of men which isn’t their fault at all. What do you hope they take from that story in particular?
I mention this relationship briefly in the book because that relationship definitely reflected ways that I felt about myself at that time, which was very little. When we feel so awful about ourselves, the relationships we choose — whether romantic or platonic — often mirror our shame or hatred towards ourselves. While it was a dreadful experience, and I’ve since heard that he’s done the same thing to other women, I understand that he preyed on my vulnerabilities at the time and used them to his own advantage.
Were there insights about power, control, and boundaries in relationships that surprised you while writing the book?
It definitely surprised me how women’s bodies have been controlled so heavily throughout history, and how that still has a profound effect on us as women today — especially power dynamics with men, within politics and on our body image. It taught me that when these systems keep us down, we will never understand our greatness and potential.

jacket. Aleksandra Sewe Ryniak
boots. CASADEI
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bra + skirt. BORDELLE
Across the book, there’s a theme of reclaiming your body, your choices, and your sense of self. How did writing help you reclaim control over your own story?
As I wrote the book and did research, it really opened my eyes up to how much I’d been living outside of my body and trying to appease men my entire life. I have spent so much time in life trying to be more beautiful, just so I am “chosen” by a man. Really, is that it? Despite my other achievements, is that all that matters or all I have to offer? Absolutely not. I decided that I would start life again on my own terms and live life fully.
You write about learning self-love and setting boundaries later in life. How did you approach writing this transformation authentically, without oversimplifying it?
The last two chapters of my book are called “Heart” and “Whole”, where I talk about coming back to yourself. I explain how there is so much more to life than aspiring to beauty or weight loss — even romantic relationships, actually. It takes work, and I’m not claiming to know all the answers, but dec entering men and the male gaze truly has a profound impact on the way you live and get to experience your life.
What do you hope readers, especially young women, will take away from ‘Flesh’ about body image, sexualisation, and self-worth, and how it relates to reclaiming agency over their own lives?
First and foremost, I want them to feel seen and validated. I also hope, like me, they can truly learn to sit with themselves and explore a world outside of men and their needs and wants. Who could we be without misogyny, sexism and sexual violence looming over us every day? Who could we be before society made us feel guilty or ashamed for being born female? That’s what I want women to explore, and to feel as comfortable within themselves and their bodies as I now do within mine.

top. Gucci @ Designer Exchange
latex shorts. ELISSA POPPY
shoes. RELLIK
earrings. JENNIFER FISHER
hold ups. FALKE
‘FLESH’ by Charli Howard is available now in all book stores and on Amazon.
photography. Florence Mann
fashion. Celine Sheridan
talent. Charli Howard
hair. Ditte Lund Lassen using Maria Nila
make up. Emily Porter using Rare Beauty
production. Clara La Rosa
interview. Kelsey Barnes